What is Your Thorn?

2 Corinthians 12:7-9, “. . . to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! 8Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 9And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”

Upon waking every morning, you lie there and pray for a bit because you know that you are not going to be able to move right away. Your hands, knees and back are stiff, you still feel like a truck hit you. You cannot really remember the last time you actually slept through the night. Instead of complaining, you start to pray every morning for at least 10 minutes, or until you are able to get out of bed.

Just to make it through your day you take a combination of at least 6 pills a day that includes pain killers. Your body through out the day hurts in just about every joint, but you particularly feel it in your hands, knees, back and elbows. And the headaches, those are the worst, though not all the time. Then there is fog that seems to stick in your brain continuously that causes you to forget simple words, like ‘car,’ and remembering names and where you place things is very difficult. So not to make anybody queasy, you do not share how it effects you internally through out the week.

Because you deal with all these issues, your moods can swing very easily. Walking is very difficult, but is needed to keep your strength. After work, you have very little energy, but to just go home and go to bed would not be fair to your family, and you would not be able to sleep anyways because the pain keeps you awake. The 6 different meds you take only dulls the pain and does not take it away.

Some of you know, but many of you do not, that this is my thorn. I live with a condition that is labeled Fibromyalgia that causes all the symptoms above and many more. There is no cure for it and medications can only dull the pain. It gets worse as you get older, as either more symptoms start to show themselves or the pain gets worse and worse. There are many out there who suffer from this, and many who are debilitated in wheelchairs, unable to work. I am a lucky one for now, though my symptoms over the years have been slowly getting worse. I can no longer go through a day without being on some sort of pain medication.

What is your thorn? We all have one I believe in some way or another. It might not be as “bad” as mine, or it might be worse. But we all tend to have one, and I think for the same reasons as Paul in many ways, especially as believers. I prayed as Paul did many times for this to be taken away, but it has not.

What I have found is that like Paul it reminds me of who God is and who I am. It reminds me that I rely on Him and not myself. If I were fully healthy, then I might work myself to death, as I am a very driven and work focused person, but with Fibro, I have had to slow down, which has led to more time with family. What is more important then one’s family?

I spend more time in prayer, which is a great blessing. When you cannot move because of the pain, or you are up all night with insomnia, then there is not much to do and T.V. tends to get boring. I learned to pray more, deeper and more relationally. I have cried to God, praised Him, and just poured my heart out to Him, and not just for me but for my church family, my personal family, missionaries, and everyone else I come into contact with in life.

I write and read much more then I probably would if I was able to be as active as I would like. I have found that writing has become a great outlet and has helped people who read my blogs, my notes, and then hear my words through my teaching, my counseling and my preaching. God has used me in more ways then I could have thought and in more ways then I thought I was capable of doing.

Do I have days where I wish I could be “normal,” whatever that is? You bet, but would I want to trade what God has done in my life through this disease? No way! If I was told that I could be cured, but I would lose my relationship that I have now with God and the gifts that He has given me because of my lack of mobility then I would deal with the pain for the rest of my life.

Let us look at our thorns not as curses, but demonstration of God’s love for us. That He uses them to help us rely on Him even more. Being examples for others with the same conditions and feeling honored that Christ chose you and me to represent Him to people with this condition and those without.

2 Corinthians 12:10, “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”