Why Ask Why? Read The Word

Romans 10:17, “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

Through this time in my life it would not shock anyone if I went through a time of asking “Why me?” The problem is up to this point I have been counseling and teaching, and many times about sin, discipline, and struggles even the righteous go through in their walks with God. I kept saying to those I taught and those in discussion, instead of saying “Why me?,” shouldn’t we be saying, “Why not me?” Seriously, I start to wonder where we came up with the right to ask such questions as we go through trials, tribulations and whatever God deems necessary at the time.

Now, don’t get me wrong, as I fail at this all the time. I would love to have the answers as to why God sees it necessary to have me go through my current struggle, as it not only impacts me, it impacts my family and friends as well. I see and watch my wife go through hurt and shock. I watch my mother try to be strong, though I can see the hurt in her eyes. My father tries not to cry on the phone, and even friends have no idea what to say. What can be said? I may not remember anyway in a few years if the doctors are correct. Of course, like my senior pastor, Gino, has said many times, they have all been wrong before.

When the doctor first told me that I might have early onset Alzheimer’s or Frontal Lobe Dimentia, I did not know what to say. I walked to the parking garage trying not to break down in front of anyone. As you read I lost control of my emotions and cried, but what I did not tell you was that I asked why. I called my wife and asked, why would God take away the one thing that I used the most in my life, the one thing many times I of course took to much pride in, which is my mind. God has gifted me over the years in my studies and application of them and now I am looking at losing that, and I asked why.

But, did I have the right, was it “natural” or was it sin. For me God was showing me in one way something I held way too high, which was my intellect, so in part it was sin. If I completely belong to God, then He has control even over that, and I think we try to hold onto this aspect too much at times, whether it is intellect, looks, or whatever. We tend to have this “one” thing that we do not want God to touch, but if we are His, then He can touch what He wants.

Romans 9:15-16 says, “For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.” So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy.” If God is in complete control, and He chooses/allows this course for my life then that is what it is; God’s. Not mine, my wife’s or any other family member, but His. If He heals me through His mercy, or takes me home, I will follow, because He is in control. This earth is going away and a new one is coming. We all are going to leave this planet one day, either through death or rapture. We all have to carry our cross till that time, some have different ones to bear. But the one thing we cannot do, is try to tell God He is wrong, or waste too much time in the “Why,” but move forward and continue on until He takes us all home.

For me, God has shown me through Romans that it is not my place to ask why, but to serve Him. If He heals, praise Him, if He allows dementia, praise Him. Reminds me of a song: Praise Him in the morning; Praise Him in the noon time; Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him when the sun goes down down down!!!! That is my goal. To Praise Him!!!

Romans 9:18-20, “Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens. You will say to me then, “Why does He still find fault? For who has resisted His will?” But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?”