Good Gossip

Proverbs 20:19, “The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip: avoid someone with a big mouth.”

After working as a campus minister for a church for a few months, one of the college students I worked with had their 21st birthday party. As a practical joke a couple of the college students bought drink mix (that had no alcohol in it) to give as a gift. It was all in good fun, as there was no alcohol there and none of them drank. Now mind you, I was not at this party, nor was I invited to the party. A few days later my boss (the Senior Pastor of the church) calls me into his office and told me that there was a rumor going around that I bought alcohol for a students 21st birthday party that I was not even at.

Fortunately for me the Senior Pastor and I were friends prior to my hiring, and he knew my testimony and my beliefs on Christians drinking; I do not think Christians should drink in today’s society. He knew it was just gossip, but wanted me to be aware that it was spreading through the church grapevine, and those grapevines can be vicious. Not one person prior to my pastor came up to me to ask me about it. Instead many assumed it was true, because they did not know me.

Now imagine had my Senior Pastor not known me as well as he did and that rumor floated around the church. It would have most likely been a much different conversation in the beginning, though I believe he would have believed my side, it would have taken more explaining and could have quite possibly tainted my reputation with my boss/pastor for a time.

When was the last time you were around a group of friends that were talking about how great someone was? When was the last time you sat with your friend and built someone up that was not present?

Now, think of the last time you were around those same friends and they were tearing someone down? Think about the same friend and the last conversation that you had about someone, and was it building up the person or just tearing down? Was there any purpose revealing the information you did, except to spread gossip? Did you go to the person you are talking about first to find out if it is true?

What are the reasons that we tell people the negative and tear others down as general conversation? Why do we get so much excitement out of it, and why do we desire to hear the latest juicy secret about our neighbor, employee, friend, or enemy? I can tell you it is not the Holy Spirit that desires to hear it, and I am betting that if you were honest your conscience does not want to hear it either (for those that have one).

Think about it for a minute. If we are so quick to gossip about others, what makes us think that others are not going to be so quick to gossip about us? How does it make you feel knowing that someone else is spreading lies or rumors about you? Rumors are really what it typically avails to, as by the time is spreads around it has caught momentum and the story has typically had details added and taken a whole life of its own; if of course there was any truth to begin with.
We have all fallen prey to this sinful action, probably more then once if we are honest with ourselves. We all need to repent of this sin, and turn from it. We need to ask God to help us to keep our mouths shut when it comes to gossip, and to leave any group that is participating in tearing others down.

The next time you feel the urge to talk about someone, then spread good gossip. Talk about the wonderful things they have done, or how talented they are in some field. But if you feel the urge to talk about how awful they are, or what you heard about someone, then zip it. Don’t be that person, as in reality no one trusts or likes that person.

Job 16:5, “I would encourage you with my mouth, and the consolation from my lips would bring relief.”